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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27343489">Consume</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Srrxvn/pseuds/Srrxvn'>Srrxvn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, First Time, Grinding, Kinktober 2020, POV Edward Cullen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:48:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,092</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27343489</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Srrxvn/pseuds/Srrxvn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t deserve you.” I whispered, “I could live one thousand years a saint and never deserve you!” She could hear it in my voice now, surely. How desperately I loved this girl who had just spent an evening with Vampires as they played baseball, and enjoyed it! I stood there, falling into her eyes, falling into the love I felt for her. It was consuming. It was burning in this new way that I was only just experiencing for the first time, and every time I thought about that burn for her, it was becoming harder to surface from it.</p><p>Bella and Edward get the horny, angsty love story they deserve WITHOUT James and his coven ruining it all. All full of first love and first... Everything. Without the weird Vampire biology no-no’s. Edward POV.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edward Cullen/Bella Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Consume</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Bella and Edward get the horny, angsty love story they deserve WITHOUT James and his coven ruining it all. All full of first love and first... Everything. Without the weird Vampire biology no-no’s. Edward POV. This is my first fanfic ever. I justed wanted some more 'firsts' with Edward without all that weird vampire biology messing with it. Also, let Edward cuss! This has a lot of "I don't know what I'm doing" in it, so please be kind!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Oh!” Alice called out in surprise, almost like she was winded. I searched her mind to look at what she had seen to stop her throw. It was Bella, in a dark room, her eyes closed, eyebrows knitted together in pain, her mouth open to scream - and then it was gone. Alice was back to looking ahead at the game, determined to keep something from me.</p><p>I blanched, horror and dread seeping through me. <em> What had I done? </em> What had caused this vision from Alice that showed Bella in this much pain? </p><p>Eyes wide in shock, I stared at my sister. But she was pointedly ignoring me. Her mind still watching the game. She was concentrating very hard on Jasper in particular, trying to focus on all futures but the one with Bella. </p><p>I was still frozen, seconds had passed and only Alice seemed to notice that I had stopped concentrating on the game. My eyes flickered to Bella, who was smiling at Esme as they chatted. What had I done to bring a future like that for Bella? What unknown danger had I subjected her to now? </p><p>The excitement and ease that had filled me during the evening had vanished, replaced anew with self-loathing. <em> It was time to take her home </em>.</p><p>Carlisle had noticed me now, and could surely see the anguish on my face again. He called for a time out. </p><p>Rosalie flitted to Emmet and swatted him playfully on the arm while growling her displeasure at her out. Jasper was at Alice’s side. She was still concentrating on keeping Bella out of her head, glassy eyes ignoring him. Carlisle and I walked over towards Bella and Esme.</p><p>She beamed at me as I stood in front of her. A smile I didn’t deserve, but I couldn’t help but return it, even if it didn’t reach my eyes.</p><p>“Tired?” She joked “Is it time for a break already?”</p><p>I opened my mouth to tell her that I was taking her home… but I didn’t yet have a reason. <em> Sorry, Bella, but it’s time to leave. Alice had a vision, nothing to worry about, just you in agony, so I need you safe at home until I know why. </em>Bella didn’t notice my hesitation, but Carlisle did.</p><p>“That’s all for tonight I’m afraid.” He answered with a smile. “Alice sees the storm passing. If we play any longer, we will definitely draw attention to ourselves.” Bella nodded in understanding. </p><p>“Let’s get you home.” I hoped she didn’t hear the panic in my voice, that she wouldn’t challenge me and ask why, but she must have noticed something, because she nodded, head tilting to the side as she appraised me. </p><p>“I’m just going to say goodbye to Alice and Jasper,” <em> And ask her what the hell she’s doing. </em>Another probe into her mind, more visions of Jasper. What he’d do when they got home, where he was planning to hunt tomorrow night. “Wait here,” I told her. In an instant, I was next to Alice.</p><p>I looked down at her expectantly, waiting for her to tell me what was going on. What had led to this possible future of Bella being in such pain, and what can I do to stop it. But she wouldn’t meet my eyes.</p><p>“Alice,” I said quietly through gritted teeth. “Tell me what you saw. What’s happening?” Alice closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at me.</p><p>“I don’t know how to get you to believe me Edward, but I promise, Bella’s ok! Nothing’s going to happen to her!” I paused, confused.</p><p>“But I saw her, in your vision-” </p><p>But Alice had ducked her head, almost sheepishly, like she was... embarrassed? </p><p>“Alice, what-?” </p><p>“Look, Edward, you trust me right?” Alice asked, finally looking at me. I nodded.</p><p>“You know I do, but just-”</p><p>“Bella will be fine!” Alice insisted. “It was a… misunderstanding? You know I would never hide anything from you if it involved Bella being hurt. Just… take her home, relax.”</p><p>Alice didn’t wait for my reply. Instead, she flew to Bella, kissed her on the cheek goodbye, promising to see her again soon, and she was gone. Jasper also left the same second, and I was standing there alone, frustrated now, but the earlier panic was leaving me. I did trust Alice, and I knew she would never hide anything from me. She’d always shared the images of Bella cold and red-eyed, so why was she so determined to hide this new one?</p><p>I was back beside Bella in the next second, linking my hand with hers. </p><p>“Thank you again for inviting me along!” Bella told both Esme and Carlise. “I hope to see you all again soon!”</p><p>“You’re <em> always </em> welcome, Bella.” Esme gushed. </p><p>“Always. Give Charlie our best.” Carlisle waved and then he and Esme left also.</p><p>I squeezed Bella’s hand gently, and having recovered slightly from my minor breakdown, was able to return her smile properly this time. </p><p>“So, what did you think?” I asked her as I began pulling her back towards the trail.</p><p>“You all play very well! But I’m confused about something…” </p><p>“Oh?” I asked. Had she noticed what happened between Alice and I? </p><p>“You and Alice...” <em> Oh crap! </em>“How can anyone stand playing with the two of you cheating all the time?” </p><p>I barked my relief as I laughed at her. “Yea, it’s tough to convince them sometimes. Emmet seems to think that if he’s good enough, he can beat it!”</p><p>Bella laughed along with me at that as we continued through the forest. “<em> I </em>would never bet against Alice!” </p><p>“I try to.” I sighed sadly as I saw again tonight Bella’s eyes flashing red at me. </p><p>We walked quietly for a minute, my thumb rubbing the back of her hand, enjoying the fiery warmth of her skin.</p><p>We were nearing the Jeep when I heard Bella’s heart stutter, and pick up speed a bit. </p><p>“Hmm? Bella, what’s wrong?” I asked looking down at her. To my surprise, her cheeks were flushed pink, and she was looking at the ground. </p><p>“Nothing!” She answered shaking her head. </p><p>“Bella, <em> please!” </em> I groaned in frustration as we reached the doors of the Jeep. “If my heart was still working I <em> really </em> don’t know how much longer it could take not knowing <em> what you’re thinking!”  </em></p><p>She looked at me then, large brown eyes staring into mine, cheeks still pink.</p><p>“I just-” she whispered. She seemed to be picking her words carefully.</p><p>“I enjoyed tonight, Edward.” She said earnestly. “Seeing you with your family, seeing you all together so relaxed with me. I wasn’t expecting that. I had fun!” She beamed up at me.</p><p>Gently, I cupped my hands around her face and pulled her towards me. </p><p>“I don’t deserve you.” I whispered, “I could live one thousand years a saint and never deserve you!” She could hear it in my voice now, surely. How desperately I loved this girl who had just spent an evening with Vampires as they played baseball, and enjoyed it!</p><p>I stood there, falling into her eyes, falling into the love I felt for her. It was <em> consuming. </em>It was burning in this new way that I was only just experiencing for the first time, and every time I thought about that burn for her, it was becoming harder to surface from it.</p><p>“I love you, Bella,” I told her firmly as I pulled her in for a kiss. Just a gentle brush of my lips against hers. I remembered far too easily how quickly I’d lost myself in that last kiss, and I still needed to get her home.</p><p>Bella sighed into me, lips parting, trying to draw me in. She nearly succeeded. My hand was curling into her hair now, trying to pull her closer, my body was starting to burn in all the right ways.</p><p>It took a great effort to pull away from her, but I kept my face close. She was gasping slightly, eyes still half shut as she looked up at me again. I realized I wasn’t faring much better, my hand was still in her hair, I felt dizzy, and it took a moment for me to come back to myself.</p><p>“Let’s get you home, Bella,” I said when I found my voice again. She nodded, and I opened the door for her, chuckling a little as she fell into the car seat.</p><p>“So what are you doing for the rest of tonight?” I asked her as we left the car park and I turned onto the main road. </p><p>“Hmm…” She pondered for a moment. “I guess it’s too late to cook anything for Charlie, so we might order some pizza. Do you want to stay for dinner?” She added, wiggling her eyebrows at me. I laughed at her.</p><p>“Sure, I can stay for pizza if you’d like me to. Think Charlie will mind?”<br/>
“I don’t <em> think </em> so. I’ll ask him first ok?”</p><p>“Ok.” I grinned at her. I wasn’t ready to leave her just yet, even after spending the whole day together. I knew I would be back in her room tonight after her father went to bed, but I was starting to enjoy other people seeing us together. She had accepted me, despite all the reasons why she shouldn’t, and I had won against the long line of suitors. I was feeling pleasantly human by her side tonight.</p><p>    I pulled Bella’s monstrous truck into her driveway, and waited patiently by the front door while she ran inside and asked Charlie if I could stay for <em> “pizza” </em> . The warm glow inside me dimmed a little as I remembered that I couldn’t actually enjoy the meal with them, only their company. I wished I could be <em> human. </em>Bella interrupted me, thankfully, by pulling open the front door, warm eyes sparkling up at me.</p><p>    I smiled back, the glow spreading back through me.</p><p>“Come on in.” She said, grabbing my hand and pulling me into her home. </p><p>“Hello again Charlie!” I called into the living room as I walked inside. “How was your night?”</p><p>“Hey there, Edward.” He replied, turning around on the sofa to look at me. A baseball game was still playing on the TV. “Wasn’t too bad. I’m sure my game was better than yours?” He joked, pointing a thumb at the game.</p><p>“I don’t doubt that.” I laughed back. “We had fun though. Bella didn’t end up playing too much though.” I teased. Bella poked me in the ribs, not that I felt much, and I laughed again.</p><p>I followed her into the kitchen and sat at their small table and watched as Bella called up and ordered pizza. </p><p>I thought about being human again as I watched her. There were many things I couldn’t enjoy with her, pizza being one of them. But there was another human experience that I was thinking of while watching her clean up the dishes Charlie had made during the evening. Catching glimpses of her waist as her sweater pulled up when reaching the tall cupboards, my mind was wondering to think about just how <em> human </em> I could be with Bella…</p><p>    The doorbell rang, surprising me, which was something that rarely happened. I shook my head slightly to clear it and helped set plates on the table as Charlie joined us, followed by Bella with the pizza boxes in her arms. </p><p>    The rest of the evening passed at the table. I politely declined the pizza, which didn’t bother Charlie. From his thoughts, I could gather that he was hungry enough to eat my share too.</p><p>    At 11  o’clock, and said my goodnights, and left the house, winking at Bella as she closed the door behind me with a whispered: “Be back soon!” I sat in my favourite tree at the edge of her house, and waited for her as she got ready for bed. Once the lights in the house were off, I snuck back in through her window. </p><p>    Bella’s lamp was on, and she was sitting on her bed, some English homework spread out in front of her. I sat on the bed in front of her, mirroring her crossed position.</p><p>“Falling a bit behind are we?” I whispered as I glanced over what she was studying. </p><p>“I can’t imagine why!” she accused rolling her eyes. “I think it’s time we set some afternoons aside for homework.” </p><p>“We can do anything you want.” I told her. All my time was hers now. Whatever she wanted us to do, I wouldn’t be complaining. </p><p>She raised her eyebrows at me, a sly smile spreading across her face.</p><p>“<em> Anything </em>you say?” she moved her homework to her bedside table, and carefully scooted forward to sit right in front of me.</p><p>I placed my cold hand against her cheek, stroking her gently. “Ok, obviously not homework then. Did you have something in mind?” I asked her quietly as she leaned her face into my palm. Her cheeks turned a delicious pink.</p><p>“I have a few ideas.” She said in a hushed voice.</p><p>Slowly, she leant in towards me. She watched me to make sure what she was doing was ok. Then she closed her eyes and pushed her lips gently against mine. </p><p>My eyes fell shut as I pushed my lips back against hers, my other hand moved to sit on her waist. She kissed me gently, her hands moved up my chest to snake around my neck. I brushed her face with my thumb tenderly, trying to show her how precious she is to me.</p><p>“Bella,” I sighed, pulling back from her slightly. She tried to pull back but I held her still. My eyes found her half-lidded ones. Her cheeks were so <em> pink. </em></p><p>“Bella, I love you.” I whispered, and I kissed her again. “I so <em> desperately </em> love you.” My lips brushed hers again. “I don’t know how to show you-”</p><p>Bella crushed her lips to mine, and I was consumed by her again. My hand held her face to mine and I moved my lips urgently against hers. There was a new hunger I had been experiencing tonight, and in the dim light of her lamp, with an energy that buzzed like the biology class the day before, my mind was clouded. My fingers dug into her waist, maybe a little too hard. She gasped, but didn’t pull away. She climbed onto me to sit on my lap, her fingers curled into my hair. I couldn’t think. I just needed to be closer to her, to be human <em> with her. </em>I groaned in the back of my throat as her fingers tug lightly at my hair. I felt a jolt at the bottom of my stomach. </p><p>Through the haze, my mind was yelling at me to stop, that this was dangerous, I was going to hurt her.</p><p>But my hand was slowly sliding up her waist, her warm skin burning me, and I wanted to feel more her. Oh God, I wanted to be <em> human with her. </em></p><p>“Ah!” I managed to choke out, stopping my wandering hand. “Bella, stop!” I gasped at her.</p><p>Bella pulled back to look at me, and I saw my reflection in her eyes: eyes half-closed, hair messed, and I looked in pain. We were both panting hard.</p><p>“Edward? Did I do something wrong?” She asked as she took in my expression.</p><p>An ache filled my heart. “No! God, no Bella! You could never do anything wrong! it’s just-” I stopped. I was still trying to process this new, very strong hunger I had for Bella, that I didn’t quite know what ways that might hurt her too.</p><p>She looked down, and started to climb out of my lap, but I kept her there.</p><p>“Bella,” I began, and waited for her to look back at me. I brushed the stray hairs back behind her shoulder. </p><p>“I’m struggling,” I admitted to her. “Not with… the vampire side of me. It’s been a lot easier this afternoon, I promise.” I smiled up at her, as I pulled her wrist to my mouth. I planted a very light kiss to her pulse. “But there’s… human feelings… that are all very new to me. And being like this with you-” another kiss further up her arm. “It’s difficult.” </p><p>She looked at me silently as her breathing slowed, as if trying to fit pieces together in her mind. Her mind which i still couldn’t hear. Another moment passed, and a small crease appeared between her eyebrows. </p><p>“Ah, I see.” She said slowly. And then she very deliberately pulled my hands away from her, and climbed out of my lap, distancing herself from me.</p><p>I was confused by her actions. “You do?” I questioned her.</p><p>“You don’t… want me… like that.” Not a question. This was her understanding of what I said, and it was very far from the truth.</p><p>“What?” I asked her incredulously. “What gives you that idea?”</p><p>“You’re still… pulling away from me. You say it’s been easier today, but just now I tried to get close and-”</p><p>I leaned over her now, staring down into her eyes. She still didn’t have the right idea. She still thinks that her affections for me are stronger than my own. </p><p>“Because I’m still dangerous Bella! I’m just so much stronger than you, you’ve seen that. I could hurt you without meaning it!” She looked away from me again. I could see that, while she believed that, that fact that I kept pulling away while kissing her, that must hurt her.</p><p>I leaned closer to her, slowly. She tried to pull back, but she was lying on the bed now, with me hovering over her. I looked at her thinking quickly. How much can I show her? How far can I go to prove how much I love her without hurting her.</p><p>I could feel that haze fogging my mind as I looked down at her, her eyes slightly wide looking up at me, her lips slightly parted as her breathing quickened. Her cheeks turning pink again.</p><p>“I can show you,” I murmured, my decision made. I moved closer, my lips just above hers. </p><p>“I’ll show you Bella how much I <em> want you </em> like that.”</p><p>I twisted my fingers in her hair and crushed my lips to hers. She kissed me back, her hands went back to curl tightly in my hair. I kissed across her cheek, and down her neck, her skin burning my lips. </p><p>“Bella,” I groaned and her heartbeat stuttered. I kissed up her neck until my lips were by her ear. </p><p>“I’ve never felt this way before. Of course I want you this way.” I placed my other hand on her waist, and she shivered under me. </p><p>“You consume me, I want you any way that you’ll let me.” She whimpered in my ear, and I pulled her lips back to mine. I licked her bottom lip, feeling it burn me. Her lips opened with a sigh, and I plunged my tongue into her mouth, needing to taste her. My tongue coiled with hers, and I could feel all my self-control starting to slip away. She was too warm, too soft, she clouded all my senses.</p><p>I pulled my lips from hers and looked down at her. Her cheeks were a deep red, her hair messed up across the pillows, and she was panting hard, her chest rising and falling fast. I was too far gone, there was no stopping now.</p><p>I attacked her neck again, sucking and licking up it, trying hard not to mark her. I slid my hand up her waist, pushing her shirt up.</p><p>“I need to touch you, Bella,” I panted in her ear. “Please, let me touch you?” Her choice. Always her choice. She whimpered again in my ear, nodding, and threw an arm over her face. I caught her wrist and pulled it off her, pinning her arm above her head.</p><p>I was kissing her again, as my hand moved further up her body, brushing against her slightly. She shivered again, as my fingers reached the fabric of her undershirt. I pushed the fabric up and gently cupped her breast in my hand. </p><p>Bella moaned into my mouth as I touched her, and my body responded. I was drunk with lust, my icy body burning. I ground against her, desperate for friction.</p><p>“Ah, fuck Bella!” I choked into her neck. I continued touching her, my fingers rolled over her nipple, and my lips were on hers again, tongue diving into her mouth, as she clung to me with her one free hand, pulling at my hair. She was moaning as I continued to roll her nipple, and the sound sent ripples through my body. I pulled my lips away and ground against her again. </p><p>“Do you know now Bella?” I groaned against her cheek. I pulled at her nipple, and she sang for me. “Can you feel how badly I <em> need you </em> that way? Ah!” </p><p>Bella had thrown a leg over mine and started moving against me, she pulled my face back to hers using my hair, and my tongue was back inside her. </p><p>I was rolling and twisting her nipple as she rubbed against my leg. I pulled my lips away again, gasping into her neck as I pushed my hips against her, the friction making me groan, fingers clutching at her desperately.0</p><p>“Edward!” Bella gasped, fingers twisting my hair desperately as she clung to me. <em> Fuck </em> ! I ground against her again. Again. <em> Again. Fuck! </em></p><p>“Edward,” Bella moaned again, she was riding my leg desperately, I rolled her nipple harder, pinching it, kneading her breast.  I lost all thought but her. Touch her, feel her, taste her.</p><p>My mouth was back on hers, my tongue fighting with hers as I continued grinding against her.</p><p>Everything was getting too hot.</p><p>Bella's fingers pulled at my hair again, pulling my lips away. I kissed and sucked and moaned into her neck.</p><p>“<em>Bella! Bella! Fuck, Bella, I - Ah! Its too much!” </em>Her soft thighs quivered as I ground my erection against her.</p><p>
  <em> “Oh fuck, Edward pleease!” Bella cried. “I- I’m gonna! Oh God, I can’t- I can’t-!” </em>
</p><p>As gently as could, I clasped my hand over her mouth, and turned her face to look at me. Without thinking, my fingers left her nipple, and I was pushing them past the waistband of her pants. Her eyes flew open as I parted her. </p><p>"Mmph!" She cried into my hand as my fingers found the burning bundle of nerves between her. </p><p>I couldn't stop, with a growl I rolled my fingers furiously.</p><p>"Come for me, Bella!" I demanded, her cries muffled by my hand.</p><p>She whimpered and cried, her whole body convulsed under me, her hands pulling at my arms, as she twitched between my fingers. She fell apart under me.</p><p>I ground into her desperately as she came, my head back in the crook of her neck, my fingers working her through her orgasm. Her arousal on my fingers threw me over the edge.</p><p>“I can't stop Bella, <em> Fuck Ahh!" </em>I came hard. Dick twitching, the head sticking through the top of my pants, I growled again into her ear as I spilled myself across my stomach and her creamy soft thighs. . .</p><p> </p><p>We lay on her bed, both still panting. My head clearing, I rolled to my side and clutched her fingers.</p><p>" Bella are you ok? Are you hurt?" I quickly checked her over, she looked ok. Just, a bit... messed up. I couldn't help it, I grinned proudly at her flushed face and messy hair.</p><p>She saw me grinning, and smiled back. "Yea! I'm fine!" She whispered. "More than fine! That was.. Holy shit Edward!"</p><p>Relieved, I chuckled quietly. "You can say that again." I brushed stray hairs away from her eyes, and the small little create between her eyebrows returned.</p><p>"Will you let me, though? Say it again?" She asked softly.</p><p>All the fantasies I'd had of the ways I wanted to have her ran through my mind, now not nearly as dangerous looking as they'd seemed, and I could almost feel my ears burning at the thought of them.</p><p>I leant over her, my face inches from hers, my fingers cupping under her chin, my eyes burning into her.</p><p>"I don't think you understand just what it is that you've started." I told her, my voice hushed. I tilted her chin up to place my lips against her warm neck.</p><p><br/>
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